Zoe At Dusk

These Two

I was walking outside last night to call everyone in for dinner, and I found these two, playing in Dadda's truck. At first, I just saw the silhouette of their heads from the back window and the irony of it took my breath away (or was that from sprinting for the camera?). Jay is growing up super-fast -- 15, in high school, driving with a permit, playing football and the second most funny kid I've ever met (next to my brother) -- he's also the most polite and helpful kid I've ever met. Then, there's Zoe Grace, also growing up super-fast -- 15 months, in life's school, running around with a giggle, playing ball, and the most funny "baby" I've ever met. It's ridiculous how much I love these two. My heart overflows, and I so hope their hearts do, too.

Catch Her If You Can

Okay. You've got to see these pics. I have a friend, Nicole, who is so inspiring. She runs -- fast. I run, too -- slow. I think of myself as her back up support ... when she and I are running in a race and she is so ahead that she is looping back on me, I encourage her by yelling, "Go get 'em, Nicole." It's easy to spot her: she is pretty much the only girl in the pack of boys at the front.

Zoe Grace thinks Nicole is pretty cool, too, but she really likes apples.

Zoe looks like I feel when I run.

Eye to Eye or Heart to Heart?

I have a great friend...I mean a really, really great friend. Her name is Joanie. I say that she is great because being a friend with me is hard, I think. Meekness and mildness are not my forte. Forthrightness and boldness are more my style. Joanie gets this about me.

Now, don't let her four cutey-patooty kids fool you: Joanie is just like me. She is just as forthright and bold. She swims upstream for sure. And, don't think that Joanie is a great friend because she is just like me. No, no, no ... she and I couldn't be more different about how we approach the same thing: LIFE. You see, she wants to live life just as fully and well as I do. The difference is that she goes her own way in the quest, and I go around the other side. And, somehow we meet.

I've known her for 13 years and we always end up meeting. There are bumps and bruises along the way, yet I thank God she is tough enough to be gentle enough to love me through the pain. I think she said it best when we were playing with the kids in the park last week: "Jennifer, I am definitely not heading in the direction you are, but I want to be with you every step of the way." That right there is what separates a human from a friend: My heart matters more to her than her opinions.

Oh, Yeah...

I have good friends. Nicole, who inspires me to run races on Saturday mornings. My husband who watches the lil' Zoe so I can go run around for a few miles. And a sister who encourages me to write about my stuff on this blog: "It's not just about the kids, Jennifer." So, I took a picture of my race number, which is hanging on our kitchen wall. If you want to run (or even walk), let me know. It's great.

Say Cheese

Believe it or not, I asked Zoe to "show me your smile." She did.

You're Kidding Me. Really.

So, in this last year, I have been witness to two of the fastest growing phenomenon's taking place on this planet earth: Zoe Grace & Jay Clark Williams. Truly, it's unbelievable how fast they are growing. It's as if they have little microwaves inside their bodies and, no matter how feverishly I look, I just cannot seem to find the cord to unplug. Zoe turned 1 in June, and Jay turned 15 yesterday. Fifteen?!?! Are you serious? He got his driver's permit last week. Really.

Now, for those of you who need refreshing, I met Jay when he was just shy of 10 years old. So, technically, in my mind, he's 5, not 15. I didn't have the home court advantage of seeing him go from crawling to walking to running to swimming to biking to playing with matches to ... DRIVING??? So, yesterday, when he is driving back from Chicago ("I don't care that we're only three minutes from home.") , is it any wonder that I left fingernail indentations on the dash board? It was as if I was being driven around by a five year old. Forgive me for being a little tenative. Five is really different than ten, and ten is really, really different than fifteen.

Apart from wearing size 13 shoes, growing about a foot in a year, shaving, admiring himself in any type of reflective material (including my sunglasses as he and I are allegedly talking eye to eye), and earning a driver's permit, Jay's heart is what I am most proud of. This kid is amazing. It's been a tough couple of years for him being pummeled by life as it tries to shape in him character -- honesty, diligence, consciousness, goodness, thoughtfulness. Even when it's hard, Jay doesn't easily back down or give up -- now, instead of shrinking away from the challenges, he actually sort of leans into them. He thinks and can talk about the steady stream of choices life offers: Do I help? Do I cheat? Do I quit? Do I allow for differences? Do I tell the truth? Do I lead or follow? Do I go the extra mile? Do I connect? Do I do the next right thing? How do I unravel the consequences of not doing the next right thing? He's 15. Not 25. Not 35. Fifteen. He's amazing.

Zoe thinks he's pretty amazing, too. She loves this boy, her brother. When she sees him, her eyes light up, she smiles big time and giggles. He is such a good brother. Last week he asked, "Can I baby-sit for Zoe?" Yes, he asked me if he could baby-sit. I said, "Sure." Last night he asked, "Could I drive home from football practice tomorrow morning?" I said, "Absolutely not." I may love him, but that doesn't mean I have to ever let him drive anywhere. Do they make car-seats for teenagers? What about adults?

It's a tradition that we take Jay to Chicago for his birthday. We see things that we'd never see in Niles, and we love it. One year, we went to see "The Lion King," where we saw an unparalleled theatrical display of surviving the perils of growing up in the face of extreme challenge and heartbreak. Another year, we saw "Cirque De Shanghai" and watched incredibly small yet strong humans bend and twist and fly into all sorts of different directions -- defying gravity with every flying acrobatic act. Last year, we saw "Wicked," where who you thought was "good" and "evil" was turned upside down, and, at every step, you were challenged to resist the call of popularity and "defy gravity." And, yesterday, we saw "Blue Man Group" -- a wildly fun theatrical production which combines music, comedy, multi-media, and three blue men who uniquely and subtly dare the audience to think about what we do, how we do it and why.

Growing up is like it's own theatrical production. There's a stage, a cast, a script -- albeit unwritten, plenty of drama, a plot between good and not so good, tons of unanswered questions, some music, lots of rising and falling action, and unexpected twists and turns. I wonder if Jay feels like a blue man sometimes -- looking out at the adult world and wondering what is going on and how it all works. From my front row seat, this 15 year old boy is doing an awesome job figuring out his part in this world's production and defying the crazy gravity of conformity. I love this kid's show. He is his own phenomenon. Have a great 15th Year Jay Clark.